Out in the real world news is happening and here are the highlights.
Fan grabs R. Kelly's junk at Christas Concert
R. Kelly's first "12 Nights of Christmas" concert in Detroit was interrupted by a very touchy fan who, after sensually stroking his groin region through his performance, became overwhelmed with uncontrollable desire and clenched to grab herself a handful of his junk. Kelly, who seemed to be enjoying it at first, was taken aback by the nut clencher. He didn't expect it, but he clearly didn't disapprove of it, if that cheeky, falsely-aghast grin is anything to go by. – TMZ
Satanists threaten to sue Texas over abortion law
Over the past few years the Satanic temple has emerged as a counterweight against Christian extremism in hardline Republican states across the U.S. In its latest provocation, the temple is threatening to sue the state of Texas over new abortion laws that require fetuses be either buried or cremated. The reason why the satanists are up in arms is because burial rights are technically a "well-established component of religious practice," which goes against religious freedom rights afforded to citizens under the First Amendment, and claim that the reason why state legislators are pushing this law is because they want to "harass and burden women who terminate their pregnancies." Satanists are consistently stigmatized as evil, but they look pretty righteous right now. – Dallas News
Soil carbon could accelerate climate change
As if there weren't enough planet-destroying forces to worry about in regards to climate change, scientists have found yet another one: the soil. Earth soil is the second largest source of carbon dioxide on the planet and there are concerns that they will move from a net absorber of greenhouse gases to a net source of microbes that hide in the soil breaking down organic matter more quickly, thus releasing carbon dioxide into the atmosphere rather than absorbing it. If this happens, the added green house gas emissions will be the equivalent of a highly industrialized nation, something our planet really can't afford. Everything is hopeless. – Mashable
Iranian malware hits Saudi Arabia
The reason why Syria's long and bloody civil war won't come to an end is because the whole thing is partially a covert regional power jostle between Iran and Saudi Arabia. Well, that war seems to have gone digital as well after Iran-linked malware hijacked Saudi government PCs, as well as ones tied to the agency that runs the kingdom's airports and its central bank. Named "Shamoon," it wipes the boot master records of computers and replaces them with an image of a three-year-old Syrian refugee who drowned in the Mediterranean last year. Hardline Mac users will probably be chuckling to themselves that the world's biggest producer of oil actually uses PCs. – International Business Times
Dakota access pipeline drilling blocked by army
Months of protesting by the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe has finally paid off after the U.S. Department of the Army confirmed that it will not allow planned drilling under the Missouri River to commence. The drilling point sits a mere half mile from the tribe's reservation and would seriously pollute the area that they call home, prompting both environmentalists and indigenous rights activists to take up the cause. – New York Times
Italy votes "No" in referendum, PM resigns
Italy's center-left prime minister, Matteo Renzi, will resign after losing a constitutional reform referendum by a 20-point margin, with 60 percent of voters rejecting the reforms in a referendum that attracted a participation rate of 65 percent. This was a major victory for the right-wing populists of the Five Star Movement and the Northern League – the third major blow to Western liberal politics this year after the Brexit vote and Trump's win. – The Guardian
