Out in the real world news is happening and here are the highlights.

Kim Kardashian’s limo driver arrested over Paris robbery

French investigators seemingly haven’t abandoned the search for whoever robbed Kim Kardashian at gunpoint in Paris a few months ago, arresting some 17 people recently, including the limo driver from the chauffeur company that she regularly uses when visiting the French capital. Of the 17 arrested, 14 are men, one of which is a 72 year-old suspected of being the ringleader of the heist. Wasn’t this the storyline to Ocean’s 12, though? – E! Online

Trump’s son-in-law appointed to senior advisory role, testing nepotism laws

Jared Kushner, the media and real-estate mogul married to Trump’s daughter, Ivanka, has been appointed to a senior advisor role in the incoming regime despite laws against nepotism preventing U.S. presidents from behaving like crooked despots in far-flung banana republics that America has enjoyed castigating for so long. There are loopholes to get around this, though, and it’s said that Kushner will forego his salary to achieve this. Let’s not forget that he is the son of a billionaire after all, from one of New York’s most prominent families. A state-sanctioned salary is a pittance compared to his fortune and what he really wants is power. – The Guardian

Alex Jones capitalizes on airport shooting to sell body armor

America’s most recognizable conspiracy theorist, the shit-for-brains behind Infowars, Alex Jones, has used the recent For Lauderdale airport shooting as a profit opportunity to sell off body armor from the Infowars webstore. Attacking near non-existant gun control regulation, the unhinged Jones’ similarly unhinged guest host, David Knight, said: “gun control areas are killing zones. You need to make sure — if they’re going to take your gun away, if they’re going to keep you defenseless — you need to make sure that you can at least shield yourself,” before pointing listeners in the direction of the checkout till. It seems that Jones isn’t actually as stupid as he appears: he just acts like he is to prey on the fools that tune in to his show. – Media Matters

Seattle has some really great heroin right now

There’s a batch of heroin going around Seattle that’s so clean that police have warned users not to use alone lest they end up overdosing because they’re not used to junk with so little junk in it. Four people overdosed from said heroin on Saturday, three of which ended up dead, and it’s likely that all of them purchased it from the same dealer. One health official recommended that addicts carry around Narcan, aka Naloxone, an overdose reversal drug. Isn’t heroin supposed to be enjoyable? How can you truly loosen up with this many terms and conditions attached to it? – KUOW 94.9

Clemson beat Alabama in college football

The Clemson Tigers beat the Alabama Crimson Tide in what was a near-replay of the 2015 national title game. Clemson got their revenge over Alabama, who walked out as 45-40 winners last time, in a game that read like a Hollywood script: Quarterback Deshaun Watson led a commanding drive with two minutes remaining, and found wide receiver Hunter Renfrow in the flat for a touchdown with one second left to win the game 35-31 and hand Clemson their first national title since 1981. – NPR


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