Disclaimer: As each country's Netflix selection varies, not all of these will necessarily be available on the streaming platform. Boom daddy, now we're talking. If there is any guarantee from any of the holidays out there – presents at Christmas, chocolate at Easter, and so on – then we'll take sex on Valentine's Day hands down. Let's not beat around the bush, if you're in a couple, you're gonna get some today, simple as that. I didn't make the rules, I just abide by them.

It's not like you have to do the present thing to cash in on your real present either (though if you are going to, check out what the ladies at Highsnobiety advise you do not gift your gal). All that bad advertising trying to get you to buy something for your significant other is enough to make a point that what you really want to give them doesn't cost a cent and comes from deep down in your loins heart.

If you are going to Netflix and chill tonight, make sure you pick the right film for the occasion. Here we break down five of the best for all your different needs.

Tell it like it is...

Cruel Intentions was made for one purpose only – to satiate the uncontrollable urges of an entire generation of horny teenagers, which is why it's the perfect movie to slap on before you slap it. It's the deadpan equivalent of watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation at Christmas – everybody knows what that holiday brings, but you're watching it more for mood than anything else. Likewise whet your appetite by giving this classic a play come Valentine's evening.

It's doubly strong as your Netflix and chill pick, firstly because everybody has seen it at least once so you don't have to worry about missing any key plot points; and secondly because it's literally a game of sex roulette in a movie. Kiss passionately? Got it. Lick the alphabet on your partner's lips? Done. Stick it anywhere at random? You get the picture.

Also recommended: Wild Things, especially if it's more than just you two watching

Break the ice with laughter...

Laughter is one hell of an aphrodisiac, so once you get her lol-ing you're set. Leprechaun in the Hood is the perfect kind of random af 2000s-era comedy to loosen things up unsuspectingly. It's a little bit creepy (horror movie vibes, check), features random starring roles that make for good banter (Ice-T, anyone?), is actually pretty lewd so keeps sex on the brain, and lastly, isn't objectively a great movie, so it won't be a problem if you miss the end.

It's a mindless romp that isn't pretending to be otherwise, and it also keeps things light enough that if your Netflix and chill session doesn't turn out to be anything more than that, it'll be fun nonetheless.

Also recommended: anything random and funny works here, The Room for example

For the chocolate and roses equivalent...

Some people like romance and that's fine, good for them. If you're the kind of couple who are going to go down the chocolate and dozen red roses end of things, then your viewing fare needs to match accordingly. Leprechaun In the Hood won't do, you've gotta go big and get serious.

This is where The Notebook is a real gem – it's a killer love story that stands the test of time, and is engineered to make you weep when you should weep, and roll around in each others arms like it's the safest place in the world. It's a bit on the nose, but so are chocolate and roses, so you know what you're getting into with this one. Just be careful to turn the attention back to your IRL love story when things start to get a bit sad in the movie, otherwise if you get stuck there you might find it hard to navigate away from the Kleenex.

Also recommended: Titanic, any epic love story

When you want to build the tension...

In the Mood for Love is high up in my best films ever made list, and even higher in the most beautiful films ever made, so it feels a little smutty, for lack of a better word, to add it to a Valentine's Day Netflix and chill list... But cinephiles also need a little movie warm up to get things going, and Wong Kar-Wai's visual feast will get things primed and ready more than you'd imagine.

For a film with an at times trying pace (that's the point), In the Mood for Love epitomizes the term "sultry" and is akin to drawn out foreplay where you can look but you can't touch. Trust me, if this movie doesn't have you itching to caress your significant other by the time the credits roll, it's probably because you had to pause midway and get things going then. And better believe you'd resume playing once that's out of the way because the story will hook you as much as it will seduce you.

Also recommended: The Graduate has a similar sultriness

When you worship women and lowkey wanna be dommed this Valentine's Day...

Say no more, Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! is the movie for you. This feminist classic (just like women, don't take this for face value) is an ode to women's beauty, brains and brawn. It's the kind of film which works on various levels – it'll get you straight up physically excited but also have you second guessing just how insidious and smart the female species is. Nature is a funny one!

Extra points here if you've been trying to get your gal into some S&M play, but not quite sure how to broach the topic. Chuck this on, wait for any breast or thigh man-handles, and give your boo a sly nudge of the elbow. You'll be tied up and begging her to stop for more before movie's end. Happy Valentine's!

Also recommended: Tarantino's Death Proof is a modern nod to the classic

In case your plans fell through and you're alone tonight, check out our list of the 5 Best Valentine's Day Movies for Singles.