I was just visiting my fave fashion blog, Flypaper, and the first entry on the page today links to an interview w/ Sarah Jessica Parker, who is about to launch a super-cheap fashion line at Steve & Barry's.
If you are a long time reader of CWK, you should now that I try my darndest to be pro-girl, lord knows there's enough people stoning females without me adding to the mix, but there are some women out there who I try very hard not to hate, but in the end, end-up despising with all my heart. Sarah Jessica Parker is one of those chicks.
And no, my people, it's not cause of her association with Sex & the City. I know it's all the rage now to look back with disdain on that series, but I still watch and enjoy the reruns. Okay sure, the show helped speed the demise of the Downtown New York club scene and turned the Meatpacking District into a joke, but overall, it's a well-written show and how can I not adore a show in which slutty, self-centered, fashion-obsessed women are lionized as opposed to being mercilessly mocked as scum of the earth and the downfall of mankind.
Nay, my issue with SJP is that while she did a fine job of playing Carrie, in real life, she's conformist and a nerd, knows little about fashion, and would marry a gay man because, after all, that's what all proper ladies do. In other words, the real Sarah J. is the complete and TOTAL opposite of the character she played on SATC. (For real show afficianados, SJP = the female version of Hubble!)
And so it irritates me to no end that when it comes to Carrie, she still tries to pimp her association with her whenever it suits her needs to raise cash now that her movie career is basically done. (How full of herself must she have been to have been to dumped a cash cow like SATC 'cause she wanted to end on a high note and take time out to be a Mom?)
Parker pretends that like Carrie she's really into fashion and yet even then, she tries to disassociate herself from Carrie's trashier moments. Like, oh-my-god, it personally killed her when she had to wear SATC outfits like tiny running shorts and high heels cause that's just not the real her; she's much more prissy than that!
Let's just be real for a second here, the fashion force behind SATC was the one and only PATRICIA FIELD, a woman who is nothing short of a fashion living legend. Pat pulled together the ENTIRE wardrobe for everybody. Without Pat, stupid Sarah is basically making it up as she goes along and the result post-SATC have NOT been pretty!
Now back to that interview, which set off this rant in the first place. (And on a side note to whoever the next person is to interview someone launching a value-priced cloting line: HOW ABOUT TRYING TO BE A REAL JOURNALIST FOR A CHANGE! And instead of getting all caught up in how butterflies and birdies it is that these famous people are deigning to design for us poor idiots, ask them about the MONEY. You know, how many dollars richer they're going to be cause they care SO MUCH about schlubs.) I decided to pull the lines that pissed me off the most so that you see that I'm not a complete raving lunatic.
Note: I snipped a bunch of stuff out of the interview. If you want the whole thing, refer back to the link in the first paragraph of this anti-SJP screed. You'll find my opinions on her answers inside of [brackets].
SJP: There’s a pair of jeans I’m in love with that has a zipper at the ankle. I mean, it’s not rethinking the jean at all, but we’re not doing any super-low-rises.
BM: A moral stance?
SJP: No, but there’s not going to be any inappropriate midriff showing, regardless of your age. I really don’t care for it. I feel like, as a culture, we have seen enough damage done by it. It’s provocative in a way that I just don’t feel comfortable with. [Ugh, just ugh]
[Snip]
BM: [Insert softball question here.]
SJP: Madonna’s line for H&M is extremely directional, provocative and sexy. I don’t know J.Lo’s line as well, but I know that it’s much more trendy than Bitten. L.A.M.B. by Gwen Stefani is much more avant-garde, definitely high fashion. But I don’t want to do that for women, because that’s not really their lives. [Those poor commoners--too simple to understand real fashion.] Bitten is simple silhouettes that are affordable.
[Snip]
BM: Sure. But why didn’t you just call it Sarah Jessica?
SJP: I was embarrassed to. I don’t want the line to be about me. I’m not pretending that these are clothes from my closet. Or that this is Carrie Bradshaw. [Well no, 'cause then Patricia Field would finally be forced to CUT YOUR ASS, you no-credit-giving, poseur beeyatch!]
[Snip]
BM: So are people disappointed that you are not as dressy as you were as Carrie Bradshaw?
SJP: They are. Often I’ll go to the market, and women will say to me: “Let me see your shoes.” And then I show them I’m wearing flip-flops.
BM: Do you say you’re sorry?
SJP: Constantly. I say, “I’m old now. I can’t run around in heels when I go to the market for my son’s yogurt.” [No again Sarah, it's cause you don't really care about fashion. Having one single child--especially when you're a multi-millionaire who can hire a complete support staff--does NOT mean you curl up and turn into a soccer mom and even THEY aren't wearing flip-flops anymore. And again, you can't BE Carrie 'cause her fashion didn't come from your brain, it came from, say it with me people, P-A-T-R-I-C-I-A F-I-E-L-D. But hey, thanks once again, for not giving Pat the credit she deserves. What a wonderfully generous and giving person you are!]
[snip]
Phew--rant over! I definitely wasn't planning on making it this long, but oh well, I have to admit that big phonies who pretend to have a great big heart of gold when in fact their corazon is made of hielo tend to get me mad like that.
Smooches--I still love all of you!
Lois: LSakany at GMail.com
