This salad will get you laid.* A lofty claim, we realize, but let us explain how this salad will lead to carnal behavior. Tuscan Kale is the bedrock of the lustiness. Not only does it remind the object of your salad of romantic Tuscan sunsets, it is also chock-full of healthiness. Iron, calcium, vitamins A, K and C, how can someone not feel good about you wanting them to feel good?


More verdant passion after the jump …

Then there are the dried cranberries. Sweet and tart, just like most of sex. It also has walnuts to remind your amour of brains—both your sac that resembles one, and the one in your head that is so passionate about others eating well. The dressing is rich in miso and, if your dinner guest is female, she can be gently reminded that studies have linked daily miso consumption with a reduction in the risk of breast cancer.


1 bunch Tuscan kale
1/4 c dried cranberries, chopped
1/4 c chopped walnuts

1 Tbsp white miso paste
2 Tbsp ume plum vinegar
2 Tbsp rice vinegar
1/4 c olive oil

Dissolve the miso paste in the plum and rice vinegar, breaking it up with the back of a fork. Whisk in the olive oil to emulsify and pour the dressing neatly into a decorative salad bowl. You can salt the dressing if you like, but taste it first—the ume pum vinegar is a byproduct of pickling and packs a salty punch, as does the miso. Wash and dry the Tuscan kale and slice into slender ribbons, cutting across the width of each leaf and stopping when the stalk gets thicker than you think you would want to chew. Put the kale ribbons into a the bowl atop the dressing, but do not mix. Sprinkle the salad with the cranberries and walnuts. Wait until the object of your affection takes in the full visual glory of the salad before tossing, pulling from the bottom of the bowl to get everything evenly coated. We did not have any on hand for this salad, but adding shaved fennel is a wise move. The astringent licorice taste of the bulb makes the mouth water.

*Alright. So this salad might get you laid. Still … very tasty.

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