This hat is reminding us of the scene in that quintessential ’90s buddy-action movie The Last Boy Scout, where Bruce Willis’ grizzled P.I. grills Damon Wayans’ washed-up quarterback about his $650 leather pants.

“They’re pants … You wear them? … They don’t, like, have a TV in them or something?”


“I am very old.”

Why, you might ask? Because this is a $900 Panama hat with no TV in it—one “reserved for only the most serious hat connoisseurs.” That goes without saying, but what does $900 get you in the way of luxury head-wear? One designed by celebrity favorite Victor Osborne, for starters. “Using grade 12-14 Panama and Italian grosgrain bands emulating custom origami designs, Bailey brings this legendary treasure to a modern man of style,” we are told. “The goal is to provide the finest, lightest straw hat made and shaped by Bailey of Hollywood’s skilled craftsmen in Pennsylvania.” And speaking of shapes, it comes in four different molds (Twisted Crown, Square Crown, Deep Dip Crown, and Teardrop Crown). All of them would look good on Bruce Willis who can, ironically, afford all four.

Another look after the jump…

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