Out in the real world news is happening and here are the highlights.

Chris Brown arrested for pointing gun at woman

R&B scumbag, Chris Brown, best known for beating up Rihanna and embarrassing himself in a fight against Drake, has been arrested after pointing a gun at a woman’s head. The incident took place at Brown’s LA home when he allegedly became agitated after the woman admired his friend’s jewellery. Having thrown her out of his house, the woman naturally called the police, prompting Brown to barricade himself and take to social media to proclaim how he is in fact being demonized by the police, media and public. He was eventually arrested, and will hopefully be jailed forever for crimes against musical decency. – LA Times

Apple owes $14.5 billion in unpaid taxes

Many international conglomerates set up their European operations in Ireland to take advantage of ridiculous tax arrangements that allow them to basically pay nothing on all their EU earnings. Apple has become the world’s most valuable company thanks to these sort of crooked rules, that allow it to pay a tiny, tiny slice of tax on all of the products that it sells within the EU to Ireland. Well, the EU are done with this arrangement, and have demanded that the tech giant hand over some $14.5 billion in unpaid taxes. – New York Times

France calls for end to TTIP talks

In case you’re unfamiliar with TTIP, the Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership is a piece of legislation currently being constructed by the U.S. and the EU, which aims to bring America’s very particular brand of heartless, capitalist fundamentalism to the wider world. Basically, it would allow companies to sue governments that passed laws that threaten their earnings, totally quashing the will of the people and making a farce out of democracy. Well, luckily this very worst feature of late capitalism appears to be grinding to a halt, after the French trade minister and France’s prime minister, Francois Hollande, called for an end to talks, largely because of approaching elections on both sides of the Atlantic. Is this a victory, or merely a stay of execution for the democratic ideal? – Reuters

Trump to meet with Mexico’s president

After repeatedly accusing Mexico of sending murderers and rapists to America, Donald Trump is set to meet with the Mexican president in Mexico City mere hours before he gives a speech in Arizona clarifying his immigration policy, which has swerved from outright racism to perfectly in line with Obama’s in recent weeks. The Donald must have absolute trust in his security detail if he’s going to Mexico City knowing full well that it’s home to 8.85 million rapists and murderers that presumably want to rape and murder him harder than any other American ever. – Washington Post

Naked boobs represent France, says French PM

France’s prime minister Manuel Valls waded into the burkini row that has enveloped the country, declaring that the bare breasts of Marianne, the goddess of liberty and a national symbol of the French republic, are far more representative of the nation than headscarves, burkinis, or anything else that France’s massive muslim population might wear. You see, it is exactly this kind of exclusionary attitude that breeds homegrown jihadists and makes France a target of terrorist atrocities. – The Independent

NASA says Earth is heating faster than at any point in last 1000 years

Every single month this year has been declared the hottest on record, and as 2016 comes to a close it will no doubt be remembered as the warmest in recorded history, with one of the NASA’s top climatologists pronouncing “It’s unprecedented in 1,000 years. There’s no period that has the trend seen in the 20th century in terms of the inclination [of temperatures].” So, in short, we’re fucked, yet there will no doubt be some moron that pipes up in the comments section saying something about how there were surely hotter years before scientists far more educated and qualified than them actually started noting down temperatures, oblivious to the fact that they’re peddling misinformation disseminated by coal industry-funded pseudo-science. – The Guardian

Words by Aleks Eror
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