Out in the real world news is happening and here are the highlights.

DJ Khaled Snapchats his son’s birth

Dignified human behavior hit a new low after DJ Khaled Snapchatted the birth of his son to his many followers. Asahd Tuck was born yesterday, his very first moments outside of his mom’s vagina were caught on camera, for the whole world to see, immediately snatching away his privacy before he even got a chance to enjoy it. While his fiancee was giving birth, Khaled played two of his own tracks: “For Free” and “I Got My Own Keys,” which I think we can all agree is not merely annoying, but utterly sociopathic. – International Business Times

France starts clearing refugees from the Calais “Jungle”

After much menacing posturing, French authorities have come good on their threats and have starting clearing the infamous “Jungle” refugee camp in Calais. Its dispossessed residents will now be housed at various refugee reception centres across the country, spreading the problem wider but thinner and making it more difficult for its critics to focus upon so furiously. This effectively achieves the ultimate goal of kicking the can down the road rather than actually dealing with the hard reality of the modern refugee crisis. – Reuters

Trump gets into beef with the Emmys

An increasingly unhinged Donald Trump has taken Clinton’s bait from the third debate and entered a feud with the Emmy Awards committee. The beef stretches back all the way to 2004, when Trump’s show, The Apprentice, was nominated for an Emmy for outstanding reality TV show but lost out to The Amazing Race. Predictably, The Donald has accused the whole thing being con that was rigged against him, just like this election. Let’s just hope “the second amendment people” among his supporters don’t take justice into their own hands and steal The Amazing Race‘s Emmy at gun point or something. – CBC News

Trump camp admits it’s trailing

Donald Trump’s campaign has been marked by a consistent refusal to acknowledge reality, but it appears that it’s finally started to accept that facts, with The Donald’s campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway, admitting that her candidate is trailing in the polls. Unsurprisingly she tried to put a positive spin on things, suggesting that losing could be considered a good thing in a way, which most of us will be able to agree with – especially if Trump ends up losing in two weeks time. – BBC News

Jose Mourinho embarrassed upon Chelsea return

Jose Mourinho returned to Stamford Bridge for the first time since his second tenure came to an end amid such acrimony last season, and his Manchester United team were embarrassed in a 4-0 drubbing. Emotions spilled over after the final whistle, with the opposing managerial teams getting in each other’s faces after Mourinho accused Chelsea manager, Antonio Conte, of attempting to humiliate him. Draws for Manchester City, Arsenal and Tottenham allowed Chelsea and Liverpool (who won at home against West Brom by a 2-1 scoreline) to close the gap at the top of the table, where a single point separates the top five sides. – The Guardian

Words by Aleks Eror
Contributor
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