As one of the most buzzed-about festivals in the world, Coachella brings together a plethora of personalities from around the globe. Across two weekends each year, the Californian festival features the best of music and art, and your favorite celebs always manage to make a noteworthy appearance, case in point – Rihanna’s iconic crystal Gucci bodysuit last year.
In case you haven’t heard, the Coachella 2018 lineup is incredibly stacked – Beyoncé is finally performing after cancelling last year due to the fact that she was hella pregnant with twins, and The Weeknd, SZA, Cardi B, Migos, Eminem, Tyler, the Creator, Vince Staples and many more will also headline. Like every edition in recent memory, this year is bound to attract a cornucopia of international characters – from influencers to celebs to regular-shmegular-degular fans who want to bow down to Queen Bey.
After exploring the 5 types of people you’ll definitely meet at SXSW, we’ve consulted our secret panel of industry experts and now present you with 5 types of people you’re sure to run into if you make it to Indio this year. From The Cultural Appropriator to The Stressed Journalist, here are the 5 types of people you’ll definitely see at Coachella Festival 2018.
1. The Cultural Appropriator
She’s only in her early 20s, but the figure of The Cultural Appropriator has been around festivals for at least a decade in one cringey form or another. Despite the fact that she’s super savvy when it comes to the latest festival-ready trends, she is somehow completely unaware that wearing a Native American headdress is just flat-out wrong. She just like, wants to show off the beauty of the feathers, and express her feeling of freedom, okay?
2. The Beyoncé Mega Fan
The Beyoncé Mega Fan has been waiting an entire year for Beyoncé to hit the stage at Coachella. As soon as Saturday’s schedule is announced, best believe he’ll be planning out exactly when he needs to start camping out at the main stage (as soon as the gates open on Friday, let’s be real). He’s president of his local Beyhive chapter, has been a certified Yoncé stan since Destiny’s Child’s 1998 debut, so you know he’s coming through to the front with an obscenely large handmade sign, scream-crying every single lyric that leaves Queen Bey’s mouth.
3. The Indie Rock Dad
The Indie Rock Dad has been attending Coachella since he was a teen, so he’s incredibly stoked that he can now bring his child along to join in the fun. He knows next to nothing about anything that isn’t his preferred genre of music (“What’s a Migos?” he asks), and this year, he definitely won’t miss sets by Fleet Foxes, King Krule, David Byrne. He’s perfected his no-nonsense Coachella look which consists of Birkenstocks, jorts, and an original MTV T-shirt he copped in the early ’90s – everything he needs to stand with his crew of dad friends a comfortable distance away from the giant stacks of speakers and teenage festival goers.
4. The Music Industry Hot Shot
The Music Industry Hot Shot did not come to Coachella to play games. She’s here to network with the best of the best, to meet all those journalists she’s been harassing over email, and to sneak backstage to ask at least one member of BROCKHAMPTON if they need a manager. She wouldn’t be caught dead wearing denim shorts, flower crowns or other certified festi-ready looks. She’s determined to keep it professional, hence opting for a sleek J.W Anderson coat over a SZA Ctrl T-shirt and Fenty Puma cleated creepers, ensuring she’s at least a few inches above the Coachella plebians in both style and attitude.
5. The Stressed Journalist
Getting a ‘fit off is the last thing on The Stressed Journalist’s mind. He just flew in from New York with no time to waste – he’s got a to-do list longer than Beyoncé’s hospitality rider. Clad in a practical tracksuit and sneakers, he’s clutching his laptop Kanye-style with a giant coffee in his other hand. With an insanely-packed schedule of interviews, live-Tweeting, and Facebook and Instagram Live sessions, he’ll be lucky if he gets to catch any actual performances at this year’s festival.
For more festival archetypes, revisit the 5 types of people you’ll definitely see at SXSW right here.
- Illustrations: Josh Parkin