It’s a sad truth that, despite appearances, growing a beard isn’t actually all that manly. Not in the traditional, lumberjack-cum-viking sense you get from following bearded influencers on Instagram, anyway. They make it look effortless – like it’s an affectation woven from pure testosterone. That it happens to be perfectly formed and glistening is probably due to sex hormones or, like, how many dudes they’ve killed in battle or some shit.
Of course, the fact of the matter is a good beard takes effort and these men are preening more than their girlfriends. No matter how thrown-together they look for their #beardselfies, guys are invariably spending cash on beard-specific products and having their facial topiary trimmed and tamed. So don’t feel like just because you’ve looked like Robinson Crusoe on a comedown ever since you’ve grown a beard there’s something wrong with your face.
(I mean, there is obviously something wrong with your face but that’s another issue for another time.)
(Seriously, WTF is that thing?!)
Oil be there for you
So, let’s face it: a beard takes effort. Without due care, it’ll feel more like one of those weird sea sponge things than any kind of facial hair worth flaunting. Which is why you need a beard oil. And to use it properly.
The main reason: your beard loves the stuff almost as much as a Saudi baron. But after every wash or shower, your face is stripped of oil, a consequence of which is bristly, wispy facial hair. Where Saudis hold much sway over the world’s oil supply, beard oil is in abundance and you’ve no excuse for not picking it up by the barrel-load.
Your best option is Kiehl's. As purveyors of natural grooming products, a beard oil was the natural next step for the brand. This is good for two reasons: overdoing it with chemicals can make your beard look worse; Kiehl's stuff always smells dope.
And it’s the smell you notice first when applying this oil. It’s a pleasing mix of wood and eucalyptus (we think that’s how beards should smell) that is by no means overpowering. Even if you’re applying the stuff before biking to your "creative" social media job in some wanky converted warehouse, at least the smell from your 'stache will remind you of felled trees and other manly things from which you couldn't be further removed.
Greasing the palms
Now, just because the scent is subtle, that doesn’t give you carte blanche to douse yourself in the stuff. Oil is oil. A diminutive amount worked into the beard from your palms and fingertips post-wash is plenty. Ignore this and you’ll end up looking like a wizard who’s just discovered KFC buckets.
A happy consequence of this judicious application is that the bottle will last you a while. The ingredients are of high enough quality to go the distance, after all. So you won’t need to splash out on a new bottle of oil every couple of weeks. Add to that mix of pros the low cost (each comes in at circa $27) and it's an investment for which your beard will thank you.
Now show us your #beardselfie you manly man, you.
P.S. For the hair on top of your head, Kiehl's has got you covered too...
Keep the comments and questions coming.
Knock, knock. Who is it? Groom Service.
