Romance is out! Friendship is in! This Valentine's Day, Highsnobiety is celebrating the beauty of love outside the traditional confines of romantic relationships. After all, friendship and creative collaboration take just as much work, time, and effort. Meet 5 couples who aren't couples here and read about the state of love today.
Commission has always been a personal affair. Since founding the New York–based label in 2018, Dylan Cao and Jin Kay, two first-generation immigrants with degrees from Parsons School of Design, have aimed to solve a simple truth in fashion: The industry lacks East Asian representation. Six years later, their brand still draws influence from the wardrobes that the founders’ respective mothers wore in the ’80s and ’90s, but it now has a powerful global presence thanks to its elevated officeware, crisp tailoring, and signature palette of soft colors. Selected for the LVMH Prize shortlist a few years back, Commission has covered some ground since it first hit the scene — from a recent collaboration with Paul Smith to being spotted on the likes of Kim Kardashian, Rosalía, and Charles Melton.
Sitting across from Cao and Kay today, their admiration for each other is evident. And it’s not surprising that where they feel most connected is not in the buzz of their studio, but at a rave or on a coffee break between intense business talks. This is also likely why the brand has evolved at such a controlled pace.
Below, Cao and Kay open up about style, friendship, and collaboration.
Highsnobiety: Can you tell us the story of how you two met?
Jin Kay: We met at a friend’s birthday party in Chinatown. It was the fall of 2017. We were both working for other brands at the time, but we knew that it wouldn’t be as fulfilling as pursuing our own vision. But the timing had never been right!
Dylan Cao: The unexpected and organic aspect of how we met really provided that final push. We both felt the itch to use our skill sets in design to fill in that void of a more authentic, personal, and deeper outlook on our East Asian culture, and doing this through a brand, Commission, was just the perfect window.
How do you creatively collaborate as friends?
Cao: Our creative collaboration and friendship are very intertwined. We discuss work when off-work and can also gossip when we’re at work.
Kay: The pressure of time and money always makes everything harder. It’s just the reality of running a creative business — or any business.
Cao: Those circumstances definitely make the process of our creative collaboration more challenging — we’re stressed, emotional, sometimes discouraged, but the results, ironically, can sometimes be quite fulfilling, since we’re forced to make smarter decisions and regulate our emotions more strictly in order to get on the same page.
When do you feel the most connected?
Kay: Probably when we’re together at a rave at four in the morning.
Cao: That’s true, but also when we talk about the books and photographers we both love.
Kay: Those coffee breaks between heavy business talks and when we try to pick each other up from the gutter when shit hits the fan — those are nice, too.
What do you appreciate about each other?
Cao: Our differences but also similarities. I don’t think we could’ve done it without a mixture of both. It’s like you push each other off the edge but also make sure to catch each other once you reach the bottom. It’s also one of our biggest strengths as a duo! Our healthy tension is important in both creativity and business. We don’t really like to be each other’s yes-men.
Kay: We process ideas at slightly different paces: I tend to dream and think more fluidly. I prefer more time for scenarios with trials and errors, whereas Dylan is good at accessing ideas and directions more quickly, both logically and critically.
Cao: There’s a difference in “hearing” and “listening,” so you can make sure to listen as best as you can and give the other plenty of room to digest. It’s not the easiest, especially when there are time constraints, stress, and the stakes constantly being high, but it’s worth the effort, because you are a team and racing in the same direction towards the same goal, together, not against each other.
How do you navigate conflict or differences of opinion?
Cao: Conversations.
Kay: It’s easier said than done when it comes to communication, like in any kind of partnership or friendship, which in our case is both, so we’re on a constant learning curve.
Cao: One needs to speak up more and the other can always be more patient. It’s also not what you say, but how you say it.
Kay: We’re both emotional creatures, whether we like it or not, so choosing the right words, tone, and manner goes a long way in delivering a point of view across to each other.
What is one piece of clothing you both have in your closet?
Cao and Kay: Commission jeans.
Cao: We have this obsession with looking like dads, not consciously, but it’s kind of just developed over time.
Kay: We, honestly, are not that adventurous when it comes to our personal style, but we both enjoy some things being a little off and not too perfect, whereas with sleeves being a bit too long or pants a little too big.
Cao: I go more “seemingly” classic, mixing dress shoes with sporty things, and Jin’s more athletic overall.
What does friendship mean to you? What distinguishes friendship from other relationships in your life?
Kay: I feel like I can be the most honest and “myself” in friendships, whereas with family relationships, for example, you have a “role” and a certain responsibility to fill — as a son, a brother, a father.
Cao: Good friendships are rare and take work, but they also come with a type of longevity that might surpass some other relationships. There’s a fluidity to how you can navigate a friendship. You can adjust the intensity depending on how your lives evolve and what stage you’re at, without the expectations of a marriage. That’s why within marriages or families, if a friendship can be forged, then the rest of the work can be much less challenging.
