With the past week having presented all manner of exciting events, both enriching and downright detrimental for the culture, we must take this opportunity to thank our loyal readership for berating each post with such sarcastic precision. With you, our weekly roundup wouldn’t nearly be as good as it is now.
This week the comments were fairly celebrity-heavy, after Eminem rapped about murdered children but also Reese Witherspoon, and inadvertently inspired us to clean out our closets. Lil Xan “shocked” everybody with his latest move, and Travis Scott actually shocked everybody with his.
Finally, Virgil Abloh added yet another job to his already-expansive resume; let us know if you’ll be drinking his Évian, or if you think those who will buy it are naive (that’s Evian spelled backwards for those less nerdy than me) down in the comments.
Be sure to keep your funny, interesting, and bizarre comments coming, and in the meantime, check out the aforementioned stories, as well as many more below.
Please keep in mind these comments are meant to be taken as jokes and are only highlighted for the comedic effect they offer.
Waiting for her diss track in response
10. “Thank GOD! Someone FINALLY has the guts to stand up to Reese Witherspoon.” – Rj Marvin (Source: Facebook)
Still better than the prequels, though
9. “Coming soon to a landfill… far far away.” – Steven C (Source: Highsnobiety)
George and Billy just became best friends
Original Post: Lil Xan Has Checked Himself Into Rehab for Opioid Addiction
8. “Wow absolutely shocked, no one could have predicted this.” – George Leggott, and “This is such a shock to me, a person named Lil Xan seems so well balanced and in control.” – Billy Dixon (Source: Facebook)
But did you cop?
Original Post: YEEZY SUPPLY Marks Down All Boots to $220
7. “Same ones in Walmart.” – El Aye Gabriel (Source: Facebook)
I don’t know what this means, but Google tells me it’s a sick burn.
Original Post: Jaden Smith Channels His Inner “GOKU” in New Video
6. “Even though he’s about as soft as Chiaotzu. ?” – Ryan Potter (Source: Facebook)
5. “Step one: apologize to your mama.
Step two: make sure she knows you never meant to hurt her.
Step three: make sure she knows you never meant to make her cry.
Step four: clean out your closet that night.” – Cyn Nitro (Source: Facebook)
Original Post: Cardi B & Offset Have Officially Split Up
4. “He is now Upset.” – Kaan Yeezus West (Source: Facebook)
Would be 0% surprised if Pharrell turned out to be a divine being.
Original Post: Pharrell Is a Golden God in Chanel’s 2018 Métiers d’Art Show
3. “Pharaoh Williams.” – Deniz Tavukcu (Source: Facebook)
That’s not even resale price
2. “”FOR DRINKING” $500.” – Umit MacNazar (Source: Facebook)
Um, Lil Pump dropped out of Harvard, Otto. Like Bill Gates. And Mark Zuckerberg.
Original Post: Travis Scott Announces He’s Applying to Harvard
1. “Maybe he’ll be in the same classes as Lil Pump and they can have study sessions.” – Otto Pirhonen (Source: Facebook)
In more comment-worthy news, Kanye has defended XXXTentacion in a leaked verse. Click here to tell us what you think.