If, like us, you're spending eternity constantly hitting the refresh button in hope of a 2020 US Election verdict, then perhaps you'll be interested in this quick distraction. Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop has unveiled its annual festive gift guides and, as we've come to expect, it's full of all the bizarre, what-actual-planet-are-you-on-Gwynny present ideas you could hope for.

So, to save (myself and) you from smashing your face against the wall repeatedly, I took it upon myself to wade through every single gift category and select the most unhinged and often dumb-expensive suggestions gracing 2020's selection. Let's not dwell on whether it was worth the hassle.

The gift groups are Wellness, Men's, Lover's, Ridiculous but Awesome, Under $100, Cook's, Traveler's (lol, good one guys), Kid's, Forward-to-Your-SO, and Host's. You'll find our highlights below.

This $7,770 Fitness Set

Category: Wellness

Because nothing really screams true yogi like a $2,150 cashmere yoga mat.

A $12,000+ Study Pod

Category: Ridiculous but Awesome

It's a posh shed.

A $38,000 Mattress

Category: Ridiculous but Awesome

For conscious living.

Hermès $4,425 skateboard

Category: Ridiculous but Awesome

"This longboard is the ideal transport for traveling through the urban jungle with hair blowing in the wind or for a leisurely stroll. It combines outdoor sport and mobility equipment and tells the colorful story of Hermes silk scarves."

Lol, ok then.

A Sex Journal for Couples

Category: Lover's 

This is essentially a questionnaire for couples that need to spice things up a bit. Designed to be picked up right after sex, the book features a bunch of prompts that you and your partner fill out separately, and then together. The idea is that you'll align and reflect on what worked best because, you know, nothing says improving your sex life like whipping out a little post-bone homework the moment it's over.

The Watermelon Bag

Category: Ridiculous but Awesome

Do you even fruit if you don't have a custom leather bag for it?

Bread Lamps

Category: Ridiculous but Awesome

A personal highlight, Pampshade's bread-shaped lamps are made from actual bread — they cover loaves in resin and then stick an LED light inside. Not sure who the brand's target audience is but, quite frankly, who cares.

Turn Your Plants Into Music

Category: Ridiculous but Awesome

This is actually pretty sweet. It's a radio that comes with sensors, which you attach to plant leaves and the kinetic energy the plants create is converted to music. Also a big level up for anyone quarantining solo and talking to their plants anyway.

Find all the guides here.

What To Read Next

*If you submitted your e-mail address and placed an order, we may use your e-mail address to inform you regularly about similar products without prior explicit consent. You can object to the use of your e-mail address for this purpose at any time without incurring any costs other than the transmission costs according to the basic tariffs. Each newsletter contains an unsubscribe link. Alternatively, you can object to receiving the newsletter at any time by sending an e-mail to info@highsnobiety.com

Web Accessibility Statement

Titelmedia (Highsnobiety), is committed to facilitating and improving the accessibility and usability of its Website, www.highsnobiety.com. Titelmedia strives to ensure that its Website services and content are accessible to persons with disabilities including users of screen reader technology. To accomplish this, Titelmedia has engaged UsableNet Inc, a leading web accessibility consultant to help test, remediate and maintain our Website in-line with the Web Content Accessibility Guidelines (WCAG), which also bring the Website into conformance with the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990.


Please be aware that our efforts to maintain accessibility and usability are ongoing. While we strive to make the Website as accessible as possible some issues can be encountered by different assistive technology as the range of assistive technology is wide and varied.

Contact Us

If, at any time, you have specific questions or concerns about the accessibility of any particular webpage on this Website, please contact us at accessibility@highsnobiety.com, +49 (0)30 235 908 500. If you do encounter an accessibility issue, please be sure to specify the web page and nature of the issue in your email and/or phone call, and we will make all reasonable efforts to make that page or the information contained therein accessible for you.