Sleigh bells? Yawn. Christmas cards? Snore. Don't wake us, we're dreaming of an Off-White™ Christmas, because wouldn't it be nice if all our gifts were this opulent?
Truly, it'd be a dream to live in a world where we could indulge in the finer things this holiday season, like the stuff that Off-White™'s serving up as part of its Holiday 2022 edit.
We're talking $1,325 chess sets, $385 playing cards, and $250 dice. Oh, it'd be a magical Christmas indeed if this was the stuff we were gifting one another.
If you've got the funds for some opulent Christmas indulgence, though, look no further. Off-White™ is throwing its hat into the ultra-luxe gifting game with some tchotchkes that put ordinary toys to shame.
For instance, the Off-White™ chess set is cleverly portable, comprising a woven fabric "board" and specially carved wooden pieces — made of durmast oak and mahogany — that can be packed into an accompanying fabric pouch for easy transport, should you wish to take your four-figure chess set on the go.
Perhaps the coolest feature is the fact that the pieces are all custom-shaped to Off-White™'s specifications — they're recognizable as chess figures but reframed with a minimalist bent.
Similarly, the $250 dice are made of hornbeam wood, Canaletto walnut, and blue enamel (two of each and one of the enamel), screenprinted with quotation-mark-wrapped numbers, and tucked inside a matching storage pouch.
These are whimsical reinterpretations of the average stocking stuffer and, besides these items, Off-White™ also created a flip clock, aluminum candlestick holder, and, appropriately, cups made of glazed Pyrex.
Everything you'd need to enact your own Off-White™ Christmas, if your pockets are deep enough. For the rest of us, we've got all year to start saving for 2023.