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If you've been on the internet in recent months, you will have noticed a certain French gardening shoe gracing the feet of fashionable anti-fashionists. True to the discipline, Brooklynites – and, to my horror, Europeans now, too – have been sporting PLASTICANA's viral, hemp-made Gardana clogs, in an attempt at glamorizing what is, in actuality, mere utility gear.

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Finding beauty in the ugly and banal, rarifying what is function-oriented and commonplace. 'tis a sartorial virtue at least as old as Duchamp's Fountain, adapted by designers aplenty; Rei Kawakubo, Martin Margiela, and Demna among them.

You may find it silly to instill this mass-co-opt of backyard clogs with such meaning, but it's the only way I, personally, can keep from rolling my eyes so far into the back of my head that I'd need to go see an ophthalmologist. (Of course, I've considered purchasing them, too, but that's not the point.)

It's been noted that Gardana clogs have appeared sooner – though fewer and farther between – than one would think, including on Bode runways and shopping listicles as early as 2020.

Hip chefs, TikTokers, indie actors, and other emotionally unavailable men that pretend not to care about trends have helped contribute to the hype – perhaps alleviating spectators of their overexposure to Crocs and Birkenstocks, while continuing to capitalize on the reactivated magnetism of mules; the latter being a similar, historically more, colloquially less distinct product category.

Now, unless all of the above is news to you, you may've already grown tired of your own Gardanas, or are seeking to add to them and diversify your line-up of clogs. Or maybe it has simply tickled an intrigue to purchase a premier pair of clogs altogether?

Whatever the case, the following suggestions will put the limits of your new-found or well-established love for clogs to the test, with silhouettes of which some go above and beyond what you thought a laceless shoe could look like.

Had Your Share of Gardening Clogs? Alternatives Await

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BalenciagaMatt Rubber Clogs
$975
Buy at Mr Porter
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Dries Van NotenCalf Hair Platform Clogs
$855
Buy at Mr Porter
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Eckhaus LattaZoe Clogs
$387
Buy at ssense
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EtroStudded Leather Clogs
$1350
Buy at Farfetch
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J.W. AndersonBeige Leather Platform Clogs
$485
Buy at ssense
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Yume YumeMetallic Platform Clog
$338
Buy at LN-CC

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