"Shopping with Raven" is a monthly shopping list curated by London-based writer Raven Smith, whose witty take on superior product revolves around a different occasion to shop every four weeks. This month, fittingly, home entertainment to stay sane during self-isolating.

Despite the numerous dead houseplants, I’ve managed to stay alive during the current apocalypse. Who knew staying indoors and watching Netflix was a survival strategy? I’m isolated and wondering if extreme boredom is a symptom of Covid-19. The world hasn’t completely ended, but we’ve all been on lockdown a few weeks, and while we plot to murder our spouses, we still need a few creature comforts. Something to pass the time between each governmentally-allotted daily walk.

Behold some soothers as we wait for herd immunity. Here are my top picks to get through self-isolation while it lasts.

Buly 1803 Ivorian Black Soap

Every time I wash my hands singing "Happy Birthday" to myself, I get more depressed, as if I’m aging another year with each bout of cleanliness. Buly offers this uncut gem, a soapy therapy that corrects the premature aging and makes you smell glorious in a masc way. This little truffle of soap will ease the whiff of the stress sweats under your arms, too. With plant ashes, palm kernel oil, and potassium, it’s just the right side of witchy.

Advanced LED Mask

You’ll look like Freddy from Friday the 13th for 10 minutes a day, but your skin will be a horror-free calm placid lake. You’ll emerge into the Corona-free future with less visible wrinkles. This mask is like one of the seasonally affected syndrome lamps, so you just get happier with each session. What more could you want?

Birkenstock Suede Boston Mule

Forget the leathery clomp of a chef clog around your house on lockdown. Zoom calls are waist-up, so go for all out comfort from the naval downwards. Think jogging bottoms or loose boxers, like it’s 1995. You need a divan bed of shearling under each foot so it's like you’ve never left your bed. This is the closest you’ll come to slippers without resorting to slippers, grandad.

New Yorker Subscription

You finally have time to read The New Yorker in full every week without adding them to that judgmental pile that’s stacking up in the bathroom. You’ll feel cleverer — even if you spent the rest of your waking hours on Animal Crossing.

A 20-Pack of Diet Coke

Why waste calories on full fat coke? Save them for wine.

Tekla Fabrics Brown Towel

There’s nothing weirder than a brown towel; without visible stains, it’s somehow full of potential secrets. It’s a bit off and therefore infinitely more chic. How now brown towel?

The Secret History by Donna Tartt

When your thumb finally shuts down from infinite scrolling, you can’t go wrong with classic literature.

Care/of Vitamins

Personalized vitamins to keep you harder, better, faster, stronger. It doesn't matter if you have one of those unusual names they don’t usually cater for in generic gift shops.

Florence Pugh

We all have Instagram Live fatigue, but Florence and the Butternut Squash is a gift that keeps on giving.

Weleda Salt Toothpaste

Sometimes I get so bored of brushing my teeth I think I’ll scream. This paste offers respite from the mundanity of mint.

16oz Bazzini Pistachios

We’re all hungry-caterpillaring through our lockdown stores, but pistachios slow the perpetual munch with their tricky shells. The idea is to delay your fingers reaching for more biscuits.

For last month's "Shopping With Raven: Apocalypse Now" edition, click here.

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