Scumbro Celebrities Accidentally Drew the Blueprint for Quarantine Style
Two years ago, celebrity dudes made looking like you’re addicted to inhaling keyboard cleaner seem cool. Thanks to the quarantine situation, it's now everyone's reality. The scumbro (unhinged style with a psychedelic twist) had a mayfly-like lifespan, dying away quicker than you can say "800-word Justin Bieber think piece." We were seemingly over athleisure, too. But now, as offices close down across the globe and people ease into a new, slowed-down life in their makeshift nerve centres, the movement's guiding principles — namely slouchy, zany-face emoji chic rooted in comfort — suddenly feel relevant again.
The appeal of this artful dishevelment lies in its message. It’s beloved by yuppy types like mid-senior level UX designers because it lets people know that they are tuned in to fashion, but have too much going on in their hectic lives to actually spend time seriously thinking about it. Bieber, Pete Davidson, Jonah Hill, and Shia LaBeouf may have brought this mindset mainstream, but you can trace its roots further back.
Perfected nonchalance is a defining trait of Italian sprezzatura, while the penchant for matching gear indiscriminately (I'm thinking of a particular lady on your block, the one who's always hiding an Aperol Spritz hangover behind huge sunglasses, TJ Maxx-purchased Nike sweats, a vintage LL Bean hoodie, and an $800 Sunnei coat) is reminiscent of the free-for-all approach that informed Ray Petri's London Buffalo scene in the '80s.
Just look at the home office fit pic trend on Instagram. It's all about projecting personal style — pulling from all corners including sportswear, streetwear, high fashion, and tat you'd wear to bed — to convey that you're kinda making an effort, although not really. It’s effortlessly cozy, and the outfit should never look like it took more than 68 seconds in real-time to assemble. You're telling your followers, "I just woke up like this" even when you spent about 20 minutes prepping for the big fit pic.
If your iPhone step tracker says you’ve moved a grand total of 0,64 miles today, then join the club! But that doesn’t mean comfy lounge gear for roaming your domicile need be unstylish. See our guide below.
Coats
Let's start from the top down. There's nothing quite like a big, fuck-off coat to let the world know you are someone who has their shit together (even if you've found yourself prostrate on the sofa watching marble races with alarming regularity of late). Quarantine means staying indoors, duh! But when you do need to dip out for supplies, don't pull a Justin Trudeau by getting caught cold. This is the engine of the fit; the star attraction; the part that says you are an urbane fellow who likes to light Diptyque candles while cooking with Le Creuset pans. Spare no expense!
Sweaters
Just because your sweater will be — at least in cold weather — buried under a planet-sized coat doesn't mean it should be treated as an irrelevance. This is an integral layering piece; the key textural component. If it's big, chunky, and runs long, that's fine. We're supposed to be creating an illusion of disinterest, remember. Perfection through imperfection — the Japanese call it wabi-sabi, I call it a huge bloody fit.
Pants
Now we're really getting cerebral. Sweatpants worn with a boujee coat is wholly unacceptable in any other life situation, but context is key, and when executing menial tasks like walking the dog, the combination has something of a fire and ice effect. Trust me, when your neighbors see this, they won't think "LOL, look at that incongruously-minded piece of shit!" but rather, they'll be taken aback by the fact that you have the audacity to step out wearing an $800 coat with lounge pants. We're going higher and lower more often than a game of snakes and ladders!
Shorts
The morning cortado run in balmy spring weather can be tricky, so wear shorts under your coat while channeling that inner Tony-Soprano-Going-to-Fetch-the-Morning-Newspaper-In-His-Houserobe energy. Come to think of it, this would also look great with some Gucci loafers. I should really buy a pair sometime.
Footwear
What kind of person would wear an Our Legacy coat with sweat pants from the GAP? And Margiela GATs?! One who doesn't give a hell but knows his fashion onions, that's who! Extra points for going even weirder with a boot.
Accessories
Remember that time Jonah Hill walked down the street clutching a reusable water bottle and immediately became a pinup of the sustainability movement? This is you now. Enhance your reputation as a style wildcard further with the cap that Tom Hanks literally wore while marooned in Australia.
