What the Fuck Has Happened to Swimwear?
It's almost May, which means summer is quite literally around the corner, and I've still not found a single swimsuit that works for me.
Last week, I spent a few days browsing the internet for some swimwear ahead of a two-week-long vacation I've got coming up and was surprised to see that I could barely find one bikini or swimsuit that would work for me.
I've got approximately zero curves, and I am small – 5'4 to be exact – and a lot of swimwear today is made for bodies that look very different from mine, and plenty of others, too.
Take recent additions to the market such as Kylie Jenner's Kylie Swim as an example. Sure, the swimsuits look amazing on Instagram, but for a mere mortal like myself, they don't offer any coverage and are too complicated to swim and tan in without worrying about showing a nipple or two.
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When Kim Kardashian announced her Skims swimwear, I immediately tried to get some because the pieces were simple and wearable, but of course, like any other collection, it sold out instantly. They were even affordable, with most pieces landing around $50 USD.
Then, my search took me to Instagram, through brands like Frankie's Bikinis, Triangl, Oséree, Bamba Swim, and so on, and the thing is, they have some beautiful swimwear, but a bikini top retails somewhere between $100 and $200 USD, and the bottoms just below that.
And don't even get me started on luxury brands. We're talking $350 for a bikini, and I'm not ready for that.
Of course, I could treat myself to one, but spending $250 on a swimsuit that I'll wear for about 10 days every year seems unnecessary – even though I've been eyeing the Mona set from Bamba Swim since it first graced my Instagram feed last year.
The last option is the retail giants like Pretty Little Thing, ASOS, Fashion Nova and so on, but even there, most swimsuits aren't exactly optimized for actual wear. How the hell am I supposed to go snorkeling or jump in the pool if half my ass is out? And why are there so many straps, cut-outs, and weird designs that will leave the worst tan lines seen to man? Does anyone even make a simple, straightforward swimsuit anymore?
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The worst part is that everyone on Instagram looks so damn good, and I know that I'll look nothing like them because we've got completely different body types. All beautiful, some just not able to wear most of the swimsuits on the market.
At the end of the day, I'd rather spend more money on a good swimsuit from an independent label than opt for something from the fast-fashion world, even if that will end up being a lot more expensive.
It shouldn't be so difficult to find good swimwear, and I know for a fact I'm not the only woman echoing this sentiment.
Sadly, I'm not an Instagram baddie, I'm a normal person looking to lounge on the beach this summer, and I need something I can wear for it that won't cost me an arm and a leg.
As I'm still knee-deep in the world of swimwear with no luck, a nudist beach is sadly looking like the only option for me this summer.