For the non-rich and famous, the best part of the Oscars isn't the awards ceremony — it's the red carpet.

Every spring, we steel ourselves for a night of Hollywood pageantry that, without fail, leaves viewers with one crucial takeaway: Lupita Nyong'o and Zendaya can do no wrong. Sadly, not everyone manages to pull off a 'fit — some don't even get close.

This year's Oscars has already sparked a firestorm of conversation regarding a certain celebrity slap. Will Smith vs. Chris Rock is a controversy sure to spawn thinkpieces aplenty, but we're more concerned with the crimes of fashion on flagrant display at last night's awards. (Joan Rivers, you are missed.)

With that said, we invite you on a stroll through the darkest sartorial moments of the 2022 Oscars.

Jacob Elordi

Being tall and hot doesn't get you a pass for wearing the Grape Nuts of Oscars 'fits.

Chloe X Halle

High slits, draping, asymmetric shoulders, beading — these gowns were on Adderall, and not in a productive way.

Kristen Stewart

Let Kristen's short-shorts be a warning to celebrities everywhere: do not sign that Chanel contract.

Timothée Chalamet

The press is raving over Timothée's decision to almost show nipple, something women around the world have been doing since the dawn of time.

Alana Haim

Rainbow Fish kindly requests a word.

Wesley Snipes

White men can't jump, but Wesley's stylist can't use a steamer.

Travis Barker & Kourtney Kardashian

Travis and Kourtney looked objectively okay in Margiela. What's not okay is the Blink-182 drummer's red carpet duck stance.

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau

Colonel Sanders is shaking.

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