If there's one thing the world needs right now, it's a big-screen reboot of '90s television drama Baywatch starring Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron. Said (probably literally) no one ever. Just how or why this project was greenlit with a budget of $40 million is anyone's guess.

After months of trailers, washboard abs and hackneyed jokes, the movie sees its big release this week. Unsurprisingly, the critics "lucky enough" to have caught an early screening aren't impressed.

Labeled an action comedy but seemingly more an exercise in masochism, the movie follows odd couple The Rock and EDM legend Efron as they put aside their personal differences to stop a drug trafficking operation. Quite what those differences are we're not so sure, as the teasers have been more preoccupied with fitting in as many gratuitous beach body shots than revealing anything substantial related to the plot.

As ever with the big releases, we've rounded up the best worst and most brutal reviews to save you the legwork. Does Baywatch sink or swim? You know the answer already, but scroll below to find out.

The One Guy That Actually Liked It

The generous -- radical? -- thing about Hollywood's version of the tush-ogling '90s TV phenomenon is that, pretty quickly, it makes you feel in on the joke.

Joshua Rothkopf, Time Out

The "Hmm, It's Not as Bad as I thought It Would Be"

In terms of body objectification, Baywatch is an equal-opportunity exploiter, but when it comes to comedy, the film is a total boys' club.

Keith Watson, Slant

The trouble is that the movie plays it boringly straight.

Owen Glieberman, Variety

The "Wow, This Is Bad"

By about halfway in, the gags dry up and the story sinks like an overweight tourist who took a dip too early after the all-you-can-eat surf ’n’ turf buffet. Read full review

Steve Rose, The Guardian

It’s a goof that isn’t goofy enough, a romp that doesn’t, and a tone-deaf riff on a show that was already a parody, in and of itself.

Roger Moore, Movie Nation

The "This Is Honestly So, So Bad"

"Tonally, Baywatch veers all over the place like a drunk on a speedboat, making for one of the most lackluster comedies of the year so far."

Nick de Semlyen, Empire

Unfunny, unthrilling and unsexy, this doesn’t even reach the low bar set by the source material.

Games Radar, Matthew Leyland

A corporate version of an R-rated comedy, neither as bad nor as funny as it could have been.

Daniel Eagan, Film Journal International

We can't say we didn't see that coming.

-

Staying with terrible reviews, here's how critics are reacting to Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Men Tell No Tales.

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