Last night Ricky Gervais was invited back to host his fifth Golden Globes ceremony, and it wasn’t because of his friendly demeanor. The British comedian has built a reputation from ruthlessly airing Hollywood’s dirty laundry, and the past twelve months provided enough ammunition for several, no-punches-pulled, monologues.
From Weinstein to Epstein, nothing was off-limits during last night’s opening monologue. Never one to steer away from controversy, Gervais began by addressing the fallout from the #MeToo movement. “In this room are some of the most important TV and film executives in the world. People from every background” he said, and “they all have one thing in common: They’re all terrified of Ronan Farrow.” Farrow famously wrote the 2017 articles in The New Yorker that helped uncover allegations of sexual abuse against film producer Harvey Weinstein.
“He’s coming for ya” he warned the visibly uncomfortable audience, before acknowledging that it was “a big year for pedophile movies” citing Surviving R. Kelly, Leaving Neverland, and controversially, Two Popes.
Browse his most controversial and uncomfortable jokes below.
On the hypocrisy of acceptance speeches
“If you do win an award tonight, don’t use it as a platform to make a political speech. You’re in no position to lecture the public about anything. You know nothing about the real world. Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg.”
On Leonardo DiCaprio’s dating habits
“Leonardo DiCaprio attended the premiere and by the end, his date was too old for him. Even Prince Andrew was like, “Come on, Leo, mate. You’re nearly 50-something.””
On all the actors in the MCU
“Their job isn’t acting anymore. It’s going to the gym twice a day and taking steroids, really. Have we got an award for most ripped junky? No point, we’d know who’d win that.”
“The world got to see James Corden as a fat pussy.”
““This is the worst thing to happen to cats since dogs.” But Dame Judi Dench defended the film saying it was the film she was born to play because she loves nothing better than plunking herself down on the carpet, lifting her leg and licking her ass. (Coughs) Hairball. She’s old-school.”
On Jeffrey Epstein
“You could binge-watch the entire first season of Afterlife instead of watching this show. That’s a show about a man who wants to kill himself cause his wife dies of cancer and it’s still more fun than this. Spoiler alert, season two is on the way so in the end he obviously didn’t kill himself. Just like Jeffrey Epstein. Shut up. I know he’s your friend but I don’t care.”
On the legends
“Lots of big celebrities here tonight. Legends. Icons. This table alone — Al Pacino, Robert DeNiro … Baby Yoda. Oh, that’s Joe Pesci, sorry. I love you man. Don’t have me whacked.”
“Many talented people of color were snubbed in major categories. Unfortunately, there’s nothing we can do about that. Hollywood Foreign press are all very racist.”
On the college admission scandal
“I came here in a limo tonight and the license plate was made by Felicity Huffman. No, shush. It’s her daughter I feel sorry for. OK? That must be the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to her. And her dad was in Wild Hogs.”
Watch Rocky Gervais’ opening monologue below.