It's nearly Halloween, a holiday that's been somewhat derailed by commercial exploitation and cheap plastic decorations in recent times. But that's fine. Isn't it just about throwing together a half-decent costume for a lol and eating more candy than you would normally?
Yes, it is.
So, instead of opting for an unimaginative Joker get-up, why not dress up as something a little less obvious.
Here's our recommendations for alternative Halloween costumes that reflect the bizarre state of pop culture and fashion in 2019.
Rise and Shine
Mom, model, and self-made (?) billionaire Kylie Jenner became the focal point of Twitter a few weeks ago when she uploaded a video from the Kylie Cosmetics offices. The highlight came when she greeted daughter Stormi with a melodic "rise and shiiiine."
The internet went nuts. Something about the crack in her voice combined with the anti-climatic reveal of the baby room was a fertile template for the memes that followed.
But there's more to this story, which you can tell people when they inevitably ask you about your costume. Earlier this week, TMZ reported that Jenner has chosen to copyright the phrase "rise and shine," a business move that has momager Kris Jenner written all over it.
However, it's worth remembering that once a meme becomes copyrighted, it immediately ceases to be funny. In any case, you can reference one of the year’s best Twitter moments if you pair the dress below with some interlocking Chanel C’s. And don’t forget to plump your lips out to the max.
TikTok is Scary
One thing that defined 2019 (for better or worse) was the ascension of TikTok and the resulting gamut of short videos that emerged out of the Gen Z internet ether.
In a way, TikTok feels reminiscent of the mid-’00s Tumblr era, whereby 99 percent of it was cringe and self-congratulatory, but 1 percent was very internet-specific comedy gold that didn't really exist anywhere else.
Similar to Tumblr, TikTok has generated some highly contentious internet subcultures, notably the e-boy/e-girl, which is basically the dual act of being super good-looking and extremely online.
Other e-boy and e-girl requirements include dyed hair in a hyper-artificial color and a laissez-faire approach to gender norms. Take your pick by mix-and-matching the pieces below. Costume accessories include an iPhone in your hand at all times.
As our review of Tyler's fifth record IGOR explains, the artist's oeuvre has always spanned an array of personas. These vary from a "problematic teenage psychopath to heartbroken gay fuccboi."
So, where did Tyler land with IGOR? He appeared to have self-actualized, finding harmony between his chameleonic personality and diverse musical stylings. This sense of clarity was a long time coming, and the opening track "IGOR'S THEME" is decidedly ominous. Channel that spookiness with a pastel suit and blonde wig.
The Archetypal Babushka Boi
A$AP Rocky had a hell of a year – and not in a good way. An unfortunate stint in Swedish jail has rendered 2019 a time that Rocky would probably sooner forget.
However, he did turn it around for himself (and his fans) when he dropped the video for "Babushka Boi," a cinematic homage to his favorite accessory: a silk scarf worn around the head, Russian grandma-style.
If copping Gucci rags isn't the vibe you want for Halloween, you can replicate it with a yellow bandana, below.
Square Frame Sunglasses
Brooding Balenciaga Model
Balenciaga's runway casting pulls from a unique subsection of society, whereby a person is intrinsically good-looking but also terrifying to behold. Hello power, meet beauty.
The label's models are usually pulled from de facto cool modeling agency Tomorrow Is Another Day, well-known for street-casting boys who fall more into the "striking" side of the beauty spectrum, as opposed to traditional handsomeness. The prosthetic cheekbones and bee-stung lip injections from the recent SS20 show really amplified this.
So, to replicate Gvasalia's vision for Halloween, simply hollow out your cheeks with a bit of makeup, throw on an XXL oversized jacket, and walk like you have somewhere very important to be but don't want to go there. Scowling is also recommended.
A Tent à la Rick Owens
For Rick Owens' SS19 collection, he sent out constructivist anoraks that also operated as fully-functional tents – poles included!
However, Spring and Summer of 2019 came and went, with a noticeable dearth of tent-inspired outerwear. You can correct the fashion world's collective mistake by draping yourself in the item below.