Out in the real world news is happening and here are the highlights.

Angry customer smashes iPhones in Apple store

There’s an old saying that goes “hell hath no fury like a Frenchman scorned,” or at least that’s the way it should go after an irate Frenchman walked into the Apple store in the French mustard capital of Dijon and started smashing up iPhones, iPads and Macbooks with the sort of steel ball typically used in a game of pétanque. The whole incident was caught on camera, and he could be heard shouting “Apple is a company that ‘violated’ European consumers’ rights. They refused to reimburse me, I told them: ‘Give me my money back’. They said no. So you know what’s happening? This is happening!” before being arrested. – Mashable

The president of the Philippines just compared himself to Hitler

Rodrigo Duterte, the Trumpian president of the Philippines has just compared himself to Hitler, proclaiming in a press conference that “if Germany had Hitler, the Philippines would have…” as he pointed to himself. Since coming to power several months ago, Duterte has launched a merciless and bloody war against drug dealers and users, giving vigilante groups free reign to murder both addicts and pushers. Duterte went on to say that ““Hitler massacred three million Jews…there’s three million drug addicts [in the Philippines]. There are. I’d be happy to slaughter them.” Let’s just be thankful that the Philippines is a small country and Duterte only has the power to terrorize his own people rather than the world. – The Guardian

Miley Cyrus calls out Mariah Carey

Attention-seeking flash-in-the-pan, Miley Cyrus, has made headlines after throwing some shade in Mariah Carey’s direction. In an interview with Elle, Cyrus claimed that she’s “never really been a fan” of Carey, because she only makes music about herself and her real eyes that realize real lies can “see through that.” Not that I care about Mariah Carey at all, but considering that Miley’s music is probably written by hired songwriters, she should probably stop throwing proverbial stones around in that proverbial glass house of hers. – CNN

Trump has fractured the rightwing media

Much has been said about how Donald Trump’s rise has fractured the Republican party, so succinctly illustrated by how he disposed of Marco Rubio and Jeb Bush, the favored sons of the GOP establishment, with his ultra-populist approach. But it also appears that he has ignited a civil war in the rightwing media, pitting professional shit talkers against each other by splitting them along pro and anti-Trump lines. Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity in the pro camp square off against the likes of Erick Erickson and George Will, a schism that could prove beneficial for liberals if it continues past a Trump loss (dear lord let’s hope it’s a loss). – New York Times

Microsoft creates 5,000 person AI team

Now that only old people use its operating system, Microsoft has decided to focus its attention on artificial intelligence, creating a 5,000 person-strong engineering and research team focused on capitalizing upon the rapid growth of software aided by machine-learning algorithms. It’s a smart move on Microsoft’s part, as Apple, its main competitor in the field of operating systems, is seriously lagging behind in the AI game. – Seattle Times

Yankees eliminated from the playoffs after beating Red Sox

Despite beating their arch rivals, the Boston Red Sox, by a scoreline of 5-1, the New York Yankees have been eliminated from contention in the Major League Baseball post-season after the Orioles beat the Blue Jays 4-0. To add salt to the wound, the result means that the Red Sox clinched the division title despite losing and got to celebrate it at Yankee stadium. This is the third time in four years that the Yankees have failed to make the playoffs and the only people in the world that feel any sympathy for them are Yankees fans. In the words of Nelson Munts: “ha-ha!” – NY Daily News

Catch up on yesterday’s IRL headlines.

Words by Aleks Eror
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