Out in the real world news is happening and here are the highlights.

Chris Brown Challenges Soulja Boy to Fight Over Instagram Comment

R&B woman beater, Chris Brown, has challenged Soulja Boy to a fight after he left a string of heart emojis under an Instagram photo of Brown’s ex, Karrueche Tran. Apparently, the obviously deranged and creepily possessive Brown called Soulja Boy on his private number to tell him to put his dukes up. Afterwards, Soulja Boy took to Twitter to tell the world about the incident and call Brown “a bitch.” It’s not often that I find myself agreeing with Soulja Boy, but… – International Business Times

Congressman’s son dabs at swearing-in, gets told off by Paul Ryan

Paul Ryan, the Republican speaker of the house collided with popular culture after having to stop the son of a congressman for dabbing during a photo opportunity. While Ryan and Roger Marshall were molesting a bible after doing that puritanical oath thing that Americans love to do, one of Marshall’s sons decided to do a half-dab, before being told to put his arm down by Ryan. Marshall Jr., already proving himself to be a coward by not pulling a full dab, tried to wriggle out of the situation by claiming that he was preparing to sneeze, but it didn’t work: his father tweeted Paul Ryan that the younger Marshall had been grounded. And so it seems that grounding is an actual thing, rather than something that only happens on The Simpsons. – CNN

Is Mark Zuckerberg launching a political campaign?

Facebook founder and digital overlord, Mark Zuckerberg, has set himself a personal challenge. This year he plans to visit every state in the U.S. and meet people as a way of helping bridge the social divisions that have been laid bare throughout the course of 2016. Many view this as the first steps towards building a political campaign, something that Zuckerberg has quite evidently thought about before: in December, unsealed court filings from a class-action lawsuit filed in April revealed that Zuckerberg and two board members had discussed how the CEO might pursue a political career while retaining control of Facebook. In a way, he already rules over our lives, this would just make it official. – The Guardian

Republicans reverse decision to gut ethics committee

Yesterday, it was reported that Congressional Republicans pushed through a secret vote without approval from their leadership that would see the Office of Congressional Ethics, an independent body created in 2008 after a series of scandals involving House lawmakers, completely neutered. Under new proposals, the body would have to get approval from the people it’s watching over before doing anything, which is like expecting criminals to arrest themselves. Donald Trump took to Twitter to question their priorities, while GOP figureheads like Paul Ryan weren’t happy with being defied like that and, after a closed-doors basement meeting, the rogue Republicans were forced into backtracking and scrapping these proposed changes. – New York Times

Tottenham face Chelsea in Premier League grudge match

Premier League table toppers, Chelsea, travel to Tottenham Hotspur tonight for one of the most mean-spirited fixtures in the football season. Fifth-place Spurs need to win if they have serious ambitions of overhauling Chelsea’s 10-point lead and snatching the title, but history is against them: in the 39 matches between the two sides, Tottenham have only won four times and they’re Chelsea’s favorite team to play against because they’re usually so reliably useless at beating them. – Goal

Catch up on yesterday’s IRL headlines.

Words by Aleks Eror
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