Highsnobiety

Ellen DeGeneres is launching a skincare line called Kind Science and, respectfully, I'm laughing.

The comedian and semi-retired talk show host has announced an "age-positive" skincare brand that, from the looks of its Instagram, is green-washed and clean-washed in every direction.

"We call it Kind Science because it is kind to animals, it’s kind to skin, it’s kind to the planet and it’s kind to your wallet," DeGeneres explained on the latest episode of her show.

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The brand doesn't launch until October 26, so I'll be gentle — "kind," even. But its Instagram posts and Highlights don't offer much to back up DeGeneres's claims.

"Whenever possible," packaging will be recyclable (check Kind Science's website for a full explanation once the brand launches). The brand is also Leaping Bunny-certified, meaning it doesn't test on animals. And products are free of "dyes, added fragrances, and harsh chemicals known to cause irritation."

Don't get me wrong, none of the above is necessarily bad. But, at the end of the day, producing new products is never more sustainable than simply sitting back and — say — admitting that the world does not need another celebrity skincare line.

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Also, let's talk about the skincare myths that DeGeneres perpetuates by touting everything her products are "free" of.

Much has been said about the fear-mongering that clean beauty has built an empire on, but it bears repeating: one, fragrance can certainly irritate some skin types, but it's been unfairly villainized.

Two, there is no such thing as "chemical-free" skincare. Embrace the chemicals — in fact, one of the only ingredients proven to help reduce the look of fine lines and wrinkles is retinol, a chemical derivative of vitamin A.

Three, I'm confused. Kind Science is "age-positive" but also anti-aging? In a particularly mind-boggling Instagram post, DeGeneres is quoted as saying, "Aging is a good thing... I want to keep laughing, just with fewer laugh lines & wrinkles!" What?

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Lastly, it's distinctly ironic that DeGeneres is still trying to milk her motto, "Be kind," when former employees of her show have alleged toxic work conditions and demeaning treatment.

DeGeneres maintains that the allegations were "orchestrated" — go off, I guess — but is a skincare brand with the word "Kind" in its name really the answer to busting those accusations?

If Kind Science proves me wrong with, say, an innovative recycling program, super-effective formulas, or a life-changing give-back program, more power to Ellen.

In the meantime, I say: stop trying to make Kind happen!

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