Reddit is quite literally everything you love and hate about the internet. You’ll find communities dedicated to everything from buttholes – literally, there’s a sub-Reddit dedicated just to buttholes (NSFW!) – to the study of philosophy.
One of Reddit’s most popular communities is /r/AMA, which is short for “Ask Me Anything.” In case you couldn’t infer, it’s a sub dedicated to people in interesting or quirky professions (or situations) answering questions from all-comers. And, as you can imagine, things often get interesting.
For instance, meet Pedro. Pedro decided to host his own /r/AMA after he was diagnosed with “irregular circulatory flow” to his penis – AKA a perpetual erection that lasted over three days. People asked ridiculous questions, Pedro gave ridiculous answers, and it wound up being one of the more popular Reddit AMA’s for the month. A lot of the questions were good, but we picked our 11 favorites for your reading pleasure:
I’m particularly curious as to whether or not masturbating with this condition is in any way painful, and if not, why are you not constantly teeing off?
It’s not painful as much as it is a futile effort. It feels unfinished no matter how many times the supposed climax happens.
What happens after you ejaculate?
It goes back up into a full erection in 10 seconds or less. It is, without a doubt, the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen.
Does this condition provide an adequate eating surface for a saucy vegetable dish? Such as baked beans for example?
It has proven an adequate surface to rest devices such as my phone when watching Wrestling, and also to hoist my laptop. I cannot claim to have used it as a eating surface. I do fear that there would be a spill and I would find a build up of beans. Carefully arranged around my penis.
Have you had to leave the house yet?
I have worked, for the past three days in morning shifts starting at 5am. I work at Starbucks. I went to do some food shopping yesterday. Upon payment, the woman working the till said to me the words “I didn’t know food shopping could be that exciting”… It’s been a trying week thus far.
Does it hurt to pee?
No pain, it’s just incredibly difficult to aim.
How do you hide this in public? The classic upwards in the waistband technique like the rest of us?
I’ve tried just tucking it sideways as it tends to have more area to cover and be less noticeable. But regardless of coverage method, it tends to just eventually… fwoomp away.
What house in [Hogwarts] would you be in?
Hey Pedro, what actually causes perma-boner? Is it like a valve that just doesn’t shut the blood off to the dick?
From what I gather from my GP my condition means the irregular flow either withholds blood from flowing properly around my body or sends [too] much to certain area. Sometimes I get crazy head rushes. This is the first time it went here.
Would you ever consider painting it blue and cosplaying as Obi Wan?
I am now.
Have you tried exercise?
I have but I don’t think I could fathom the idea of running or doing any form of brisk movement when I’m always pointing north.
Is it sore yet?
It’s been sore since about Monday evening. Just kinda numb now. I’ve become so tired. So much more aware.
Pedro’s perpetual erection did eventually go down two days after the AMA, but you can still catch the whole thing here.
Now here's why lesbians have a better time in bed than straight women.