Bling Empire, Netflix's reality series on the frivolous pastimes of nine ultra-rich Asians, isn't important in the traditional sense. But last week, the wholly entertaining show — now in its second season, which I finished all too quickly — consumed my consciousness with lofty questions such as: Did Baby G ever get his pet llama? Kevin Kreider is almost 40?! And is this show really good for East Asians like myself?
Bling Empire's plot points and colorful cast of characters are core to its appeal, but its fashion only heightens the outrageousness of the show. Watching a bunch of people bicker at a "Truffles and Diamonds" party is even better when one of the instigators is wearing a gigantic ring he nicknamed "Shrek."
Here, I present: the ridiculous style moments of Bling Empire season two that I simply cannot shake.
Christine's tin foil pharmacy 'fit
Season one's resident villain, Christine Chiu, stopped by a traditional Chinese pharmacy for a little bit of retail therapy, AKA the shop owners' son (a UCLA-educated econ major) telling her she needs to take a chill pill. Christine accepted the recommendation with grace, but her outfit — a silver corset, silver pants, and silver Louboutins — was one tin foil hat away from making her look like a conspiracy theorist.
Jaime's "Switzerland" cosplay
Jaime Xie continued to establish herself as the show's fashion girlie by showing up to casual outings totally overdressed. A prime example: when she very diplomatically mediated a conversation between Dorothy Wang and Kane Lim, sworn enemies, in a metallic Priscavera crop top and miniskirt paired with matching metallic platforms. Last time I checked, Switzerland was not that sparkly!
She kind of pulled a Carrie Bradshaw, who infamously flexed on Natasha by showing up their reconciliatory lunch in a Galliano newsprint dress.
Kevin's "Fuck Fakes" jacket
Throughout the season, Kevin bravely fights stereotypes by showing the world that some Asians don't care about math or becoming a doctor — some simply want to vibe, and that's okay too! (As an Asian who loves vibing, I salute him.)
Kevin might be a hero for the less academically inclined, but he's also Bling Empire's worst-dressed cast member. Taking a quick break from his skintight, acid-washed thermal, he attended a party at Anna Shay's estate in a denim jacket painted with the phrase "FUCK FAKES" across the back. Melania Trump is shaking.
Kane's diamond, Shrek
Bling Empire's resident pot-stirrer bought a massive green diamond from jeweler Kyle Chan and named it Shrek — an occasion that gave our favorite busybody the perfect excuse to host a truffles and diamonds-themed party.
My thoughts and prayers go out to Shrek, who witnessed a rather cursed thing at the soirée: Kevin shattering a glass in his hand, Hulk-style, while confronting Kane about his tendency to gossip.
Kelly's House of Skye disaster
Ending the season on a high note, Kelly Mi Li and Kane volunteered to "model" at Los Angeles Fashion Week for this brand called House of Skye. (Never heard of her.) Kelly opened the runway show in a peach taffeta gown, covered in silver paillettes and glowing fairy lights that appeared to be built into the dress. Bippity boppity boo!
Bonus: Don and Mimi's Swarovski crystal toilet
This isn't a fashion moment, per se, but it's dripping with style. Don Morris, prison toilet baron, gifts his wife, Mimi, a crystal-encrusted porcelain throne — which Mimi proclaims she'll accept only if Don commits to sitting while peeing (a serve, a gag).