undercover fw22 womens collection jewelry (5)

I have to admit that UNDERCOVER's latest womenswear collection, revealed March 9 in Tokyo, didn't immediately grab my eye. Jun Takahashi's womenswear designs are usually more interesting than the menswear line but Fall/Winter 2022 initially looked like a nice, elegant affair that toyed with familiar UNDERCOVER tropes — very nice but not particularly zazzy by my painfully jaded (and usually quite excellent [jk]) standards.

But the most interesting element of Cold Flame, as UNDERCOVER's FW22 collection's called, was actually hidden in plain sight. I missed it upon first glance but a second viewing made the nuttiest part of the collection much more obvious.

A relatively slinky affair, Cold Flame took night-out staples — little black dresses, toss-on fur jackets — and zhushed them up with adjustable gold zippers, razor blade belts, and platform pumps. Cool, sure, but nothing too crazy if you've followed Takahashi for a while.

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Those belts — a recurring motif in Cold Flame — immense UNDERCOVER-branded safety pins, and little leather jackets, embellished with intricately beaded appliqué, all spoke to Takahashi's punkish inclinations, a design ethos that's very very very very (very) well established in the biz by now.

Up top, models sported smokey eyes à la Julia Fox and taut hair, making way for the pièces de résistance: gilded earrings, necklaces, and bracelets finished with countless jutting spikes like fancy sea anemones.

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These baubles don't just look snappy — they appear to be dangerously pointy.

Which is cool and all in concept, especially if you think of them as a kind of luxe upgrade to the edgy spiked bracelets and chokers worn by so many would-be Misfits members, but give me anxiety upon further review.

I mean, some of these models are one sneeze away from decapitation. Or at least blinding themselves, lest they look down to tie their shoes.

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The earrings and bracelets, admittedly, ought to be relatively safe, though I have to wonder if those earrings become medieval flails once the breeze picks up.

If nothing else, you're looking at some kind of very expensive sweet gum seed situation. Ouch!

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Is it about time that jewelry got a little dangerous?

As a regular New York subway rider, I very much get the appeal of keep-away accessories — personal space doesn't exist when riding with the MTA.

But at the cost of potentially piercing one's own wrist or cheek? Dunno if that's a worthy trade-off.

Maybe UNDERCOVER will include tiny pin caps with purchase. If not, you could always DIY.

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