Cardi B's latest business venture is giving me PTSD.
Whipshots, a line of alcoholic whipped cream, is the sugary brainchild of the rapper, who wrote of the launch: "Time to get drunk and naughty!!!!!"
The cream comes in three flavors (vanilla, caramel, and mocha) and contains 10 percent ABV, enough to get pretty sloshed if you're into alcohol that doesn't taste like alcohol (read: underage).
It's a fun idea, one that encapsulates Cardi's cheeky sense of humor — that said, I think we all know that Whipshots is soon to be the stuff of college dorm rooms and suburban teen basement hangouts.
Whether or not it was Cardi's intention, the very idea of alcoholic whipped cream channels two touchstones of rebellious teen culture: Four Loko and whippets.
Now banned, Four Loko cleverly concealed the astringent taste of alcohol with a healthy dose of sugar, helping catapult the drink to the forefront of American debauchery circa 2009.
Whipshots seems to exist with the same goal in mind, judging from its list of teeth-chatteringly sweet cocktail recipes, all incorporating the boozy cream.
And, well, we don't need to spell out the parallels between whippets and Whipshots.
Still, Whipshots is selling like hotcakes. Every day at noon EST, the brand drops another 500 cans on its website. Daily releases will continue until stock is completely sold out.
If your online checkout skills aren't fast enough, Whipshots will reportedly hit brick-and-mortar stores in early 2022.
Between dreaming up alcoholic whipped cream and becoming Playboy's first creative director in residence, Cardi has had quite a busy December (and we're only seven days in).
Her next non-musical project is anyone's guess. In the meantime, I'll leave you to ponder a recent post to her hilariously on-brand Twitter.