Fashion Says Your Underwear Goes on the Outside Now
The hemline index is a concept that posits that hemlines shrink as the world economy improves and vice versa. It's mostly inapplicable to today's fashion biz — too many tastes, trends, and climates to consider — but, for Spring/Summer 2024, the hemline index is actually useful again, or at least its inverse is.
See, the SS24 runway shows have debuted a deluge of short-shorts and puny under-things what you might charitably describe as "fashion underwear."
Anok Yai strolled Bottega Veneta's runway in black skivvies, models at Gucci were wearing shorts so miniscule that they revealed more than they hid, and Prada's see-through skirts could barely hide the barely-there bottoms worn beneath.
Ferragamo didn't discriminate, sending out models of any gender with li'l shorts and underwear poking out from under coats and cardigans. One model wore tight shorts that looked all the world like a pair of compression briefs.
Meanwhile, ANDREĀDAMO just said, "Fuck it, tighty-whities," and sent models down the runway in granny panties the likes of which we haven't seen since Bella Hadid's 2022 streetstyle heyday.
This is part and parcel with the inclination towards sexy office clothes that's pervaded the SS24 season but it's also just part of a general shift towards reaaallllyyy short bottoms, if they're even bottoms at all.
Back to the hemline index. I'm no economist but smart folks appear to be categorizing today's markets as "turbulent." The United Nations pointed to "multiple global crises" creating financial instability while the International Monetary Fund summed up the world's "rocky recovery" back in April.
The hemline index would posit that, due to global instability, we might be seeing a shift towards prudishness as designers push puritanical skirts that shield skin. Instead, we're seeing the exact opposite.
Of course, the hemline index has long been debunked — first devised over a hundred years ago, no big surprise that the conceit would be outdated by now — but what's interesting is that its opposite is proving true: while the world's movers and shakers lean into fiscal conservatism, global fashion designers are baring all.
There's been an uptick in external underwear over the past few years, mostly thanks to the ever-capricious Miuccia Prada, but there's suddenly a glut of butts striding down the catwalks. Coincidence that it's mirroring economic shakiness?
Perhaps it's an evolution of the Fashion Tank Top — now that we've culturally acclimated to the idea of ultra-luxe ultra-basics, bottoms are next — or the minimalist shoe movement. What better proportional match to your adidas Sambas or ballet flats than going pantsless?
Or maybe this is just the fashion equivalent of the bankruptcy barrel. Except that, instead of insinuating poverty, underwear on the outside signifies wealth.
Who else besides the rich can justify losing their pants? The rest of us have jobs to keep.
