I haven't seen Dune yet — planning to see it in a theater soon, though — but I've only heard good things about the film's setting, score, and acting. I've even seen the truly outstanding costumes on both the stars and Grimes the Marxist and, despite the inundation of coverage (in-dune-ation?), I doubt that I'll ever not be impressed by those intricate sci-fi get-ups.

So, why are Dune's collaborative sneakers so weak?

Created and sold by APL (Athletic Propulsion Labs), the trio of Dune-themed kicks all lack the attention to detail that makes the costumes so cool — they're definitely not fit to be worn by Zendaya (maybe Timothée would wear them, though).

The tech is certainly there, don't get me wrong: APL makes fine functional footwear for running and trekking. Its strappy Dune shoes, however, lack the movie's personality.

I mean, they clearly take inspiration from the high-tech costumes, which is cool and all, but the colors and visual proportions are all wrong. Does the beige slip-on or red mid-top really read as Dune?

Just compare these designs to the chunky high-tops and House Atreides boots Chalamet wore in Dune to see what I mean.

Admittedly, the costumes go a long way in contextualizing the Dune cast's technical sneakers (everything looks cool when its covered in dirt and sand). But these APL shoes aren't actually in the film, so why not step up their design and bring them into the realm of the fantastical?

These sneakers look too generic to channel Dune's aesthetic. Might as well actually reach for actual trail sneakers to get that futuristic feel.

This painfully palatable drop is all part of the flattening of culture in the wake of big tentpole events. Tie-in merch has always been a hot ticket sale, to be sure, but it's gotten especially ridiculous as of late.

I mean, there's no need for Dune x Fortnite, James Bond x Michael Kors, and mediocre Squid Game merch to exist.

But, to justify the existence of all this stuff, it'd be nice to see something a little more thoughtful.

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