ben simmons ts aj4 ferrari Marcus Hyde Old Town Road Travis Scott
Getty Images / Michael Reaves

With yet another turbulent week behind us, our ever-sarcastic readership has risen up to let their opinions be known through a variety of biting, silly, and straight-up savage remarks. It is our happy duty to round up a selection of the very best, so that those of you not directly partaking in the banter may still enjoy all the light-hearted jokes made at the expense of others.

This week, we learned that Ben Simmons’ jokes will never get old, when the young NBA star balled out on a ridiculous, Travis Scott x Air Jordan 4-inspired Ferrari. Commenters were quick to react and point out the fact that time, and money, might have been better spent perfecting his jump shots. Everyone got in their feelings when we innocently ranked Quentin Tarantino’s movies, and Tokyo unveiling the new 2020 Olympics medals was, according to our readers’ reactions, disappointing at best. And last, but certainly not least, Bill Burr dissed 40-year-old sneakerheads, and our readership took it very personally… and rightfully so!

In other news, photographer Marcus Hyde got roasted when we reported on his creepy behavior, others let their unfavorable opinions about the latest Old Town Road remix be known, and savvy influencers faking it got pulled into the wrong kind of limelight.

So, without further ado, we must take this opportunity to thank our loyal readers for berating each post with such sarcastic precision as we delve further into the shady depths of this week’s top comments roundup.

Be sure to keep your funny, interesting, and bizarre comments coming and in the meantime, check out the aforementioned story about Ben Simmons’ Jordan-Inspired Ferrari and much more below.

Mr. Optimisn over here…

his dark materials trailer Ben Simmons Marcus Hyde Old Town Road
HBO / YouTube

Original Post: Watch the First Trailer for HBO’s Next Big Fantasy Series ‘His Dark Materials’

10. “7 seasons to build it up for the 8th season to ruin it all.” – Bart Portwood (Source: Facebook)

Remix ’til I can’t no more

lil nas x seoul town road bts remix Ben Simmons Marcus Hyde Old Town Road
Getty Images / Paras Griffin

Original Post: Lil Nas X Shoots for Billboard Record, Links with BTS’ RM for “Seoul Town Road” Remix

9.  “Well, if this doesn’t bring about the apocalypse then nothing will.” – John Elliott (Source: Facebook)

They’ll be coming for you instead, Aaron

kill bill 3 quentin tarantino Ben Simmons Marcus Hyde Old Town Road

Original Post: Quentin Tarantino and Uma Thurman Are Having Conversations About ‘Kill Bill 3’

8. “BILL DEAD DOH.” – Aaron Givens (Source: Facebook)

Yeah, well, that’s just like your opinion

ranking every quentin tarantino movie worst best main Ben Simmons Marcus Hyde Old Town Road

Original Post: Ranking Every Quentin Tarantino Movie From Worst to Best

7. “Brace yourself… another ‘Best of’ list is incorrect.” – Jason Brothers (Source: Facebook)

Why you coming fast?

new corvette 2020 Ben Simmons Marcus Hyde Old Town Road
General Motors

Original Post: All-New Corvette Replaces Stick Shift With Touchscreen Technology

6.“Imagine the screen freezing at 5th gear.” – Brandyn Stewart (Source: Facebook)

You don’t say!

influencer fraud Ben Simmons Marcus Hyde Old Town Road
Getty Images / Mauricio Santana

Original Post:  Influencer Fraud is Costing Brands More than $1 Billion a Year

5. “Lol are you telling me people online are living a fantasy?!” – Junior Elizalde (Source: Facebook)

I guess you won’t find out, champ

tokyo 2020 olympic medals Ben Simmons Marcus Hyde Old Town Road
Tokyo 2020 Organizing Committee

Original Post: Tokyo 2020 Olympic Medals to Be Made From Recycled Plastics

4.  “If you flip them over, will there be a Snapple Fact?” – Juan Sanchez (Source: Facebook)

You didn’t have to do him like that, Tyshawn! ?

bill burr sneakerhead podcast rant Ben Simmons Marcus Hyde Old Town Road
Getty Images / Michael Schwartz/WireImage

Original Post: Bill Burr Rips Into 40-Year-Old Sneakerheads on Latest ‘Monday Morning Podcast’

3. “I don’t need the opinion of a person who eats butter with his rice…” – Tyshawn Stout (Source: Facebook)


main Ben Simmons Marcus Hyde Old Town Road
Getty Images / Jared Siskin

Original Post: Kim Kardashian Speaks on Collaborator Marcus Hyde’s Predatory Behavior

2. “Nigga look like Ty Quarter $ign.” – Kay Moretti  (Source: Facebook)


ben simmons ts aj4 ferrari Marcus Hyde Old Town Road Travis Scott
Getty Images / Michael Reaves

Original Post: Ben Simmons Cops Himself a Travis Scott Air Jordan 4-Inspired Ferrari

1. “He better drive his ass to the gym and work on that broke ass jumpshot!” – Hakim Abdus-samad (Source: Facebook)

Please keep in mind these comments are meant to be taken as jokes and are only highlighted for the comedic effect they offer.

Words by Sarah Osei
Staff Writer