Nightmare Blunt Rotation: Kim, Pete & Jeff Bezos
We'll admit to being Pete Davidson enjoyers ever since the Kanye kerfufflestirred up public sympathy for the comedian. Hell, we're usually cool with Kim, even when she says objectively stupid things. But Jeff Bezos? Check please!
Easy recipe for an awful night: add the painfully uncool Amazon founder to any situation.
And, yet, when Pete 'n Kim spent an evening with Bezos and girlfriend Lauren Sánchez (the recipient of Bezos' day-ruining sexts) at A.O.C.'s LA restaurant, the quartet spent hours "enjoying each other's company" if the paparazzi reports are to be believed.
That'd make sense if it was just Pete and Kim, who clearly are still in their honeymoon phase, but Bezos reads as a total charisma black hole from where I'm sitting (union-busting a personality does not make).
Maybe that's just a silicon valley generalization or maybe it'd be hard to have a fun chat with Bezos while also considering the cruel working conditions imposed on Amazon's warehouse employees. Hey, maybe that's just my cross to bear.
Davidson and Sánchez's charms could've admittedly made for a light evening (she's a longtime news anchor and TV host so small talk should come naturally) and Kim has a thing for meeting with despots on occasion so maybe it wasn't so painful.
The double date may have included talk of Bezos' Blue Origin spaceflight, which Davidson was initially supposed to join.
In fact, the whole point of the evening could've been Bezos attempting to convince Davidson back into Blue Origin's crotch-strangling spacesuits, for all we know.
Unrelated: The menu at A.O.C. is surprisingly affordable for a guy of Bezos' wealth, with all entrées priced under $30. That's a bit of splurge for us regular folks but when was the last time that Bezos saw anything smaller than a $100 bill?
I assume Bezo's typical diet consists of filet mignon sprinkled with gold dust and caviar smoothies so, by comparison, a $25 hanger steak is slumming it.
No YEEZYs for Kim, by the way, she instead wore heels with double denim to match Pete's perpetual Uncle Paulie's Deli merch.
North West must've been furious.
